Monday, December 29, 2008
I don’t know if it was Christmas or just being 29 weeks but the cramps and lower pain were more intense this week. The 3 days did take a lot out of all of us, Jordy included.
On Boxing day we went to our friends place and I was just in so much pain that on the way home I almost told Tim to take me straight to the hospital.
It doesn’t help that for most part of the week I wake at 2am to eat something then am unable to fall asleep for 2 hours. The last two nights I’ve woken up at 5am to eat then I’m able to fall back asleep and Jordy has been very kind to his Mum and slept into until 8am.
We still have so much to do with the babies room, I’m trying not to worry about it, deep down both Tim and I think that I will not make it to 36 weeks, my gut is telling me to be prepared for 34-35 weeks.
I hope that I get to 35 weeks so that I can go to the local hospital, but only time will tell.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Jordy woke this morning to many presents under the Christmas tree, there were some tears as he does not understand the concept that others will receive gifts as well.
Here are a few photo’s:
Even though the twins are still in gestation they also received some small gifts as they may not be in the outside world but they are here physically.
As we were packing the present out last night, my darling husband turned to me and stated how excited he was for the morning to arrive. He felt that this Christmas was the first that he really understood the magic and joy that it brings to children. I feel the same way, just seeing the joy on our son’s face this morning was priceless!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Ob appointment yesterday and my belly is measuring at 34 weeks, compared to 2 weeks ago when it was measuring at 30…big jump.
I did tell Tim the other day when I caught a reflection of myself in a shop window that it looked like I had just exploded and expanded over night. How right I was.
We have finally started working on the twin’s room and to be honest I’m a little nervous about how late we are leaving things, but I’m sure that it will be done quickly over the Christmas break.
I still need to buy some things in preparation for the babies, like bottles, car seats, pram, extra cot and possibly more clothes.
An ex-work colleague gave me all her old cot linen which was really generous. I already have quite a bit but will need double of just about everything and most of the stuff that I do have is for a boy.
I have pre stocked up on nappies have 4 box of new born nappies in storage and 2 boxes at home. Plus two boxes each of infant nappies on layby at Kmart. I have 3 tins of baby formula ready, and from now on whenever I buy Jordy’s toddler formula I will buy the babies one as well.
I will try to breastfeed but given my past history with no milk I doubt that I will be able to and I recently read that if I will be bottle feeding I will be making approximately 12-16 bottles of formula per day, depending on how often they feed.
Like last time I will show you the before and after shots of the room once completed.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
If there are any infertiles still reading this blog, I would suggest that you don’t continue reading this post as I feel the need to vent about this pregnancy, but I also feel the need to state the positives.
This is what I hate about this pregnancy:
* I’m huge, my belly is just so big I’m finding it hard to do anything
* I can’t bend over anymore and pick things up and I’ve still got 7-8 weeks left
* I hate the crampy pains when I roll over in bed
* I hate it when I’m walking and I get a cramp
* I hate it that I can’t walk as much and would love to take Jordy for his morning / afternoon walk
* I hate it that I can’t get on the ground and play with Jordy, it is just too hard to get back up
* I’m hating the heartburn (although it is not as bad as it was with Jordy)
* I hate feeling so heavy
* I hate feeling so tired
* I hate the breathlessness and dizziness
This is what I love about this pregnancy:
* I love knowing which baby is moving, our little boy is just as active as Jordan was,
* I love that Tim just gets up and helps with out having to be asked
* I love that I’m having twins and I feel very blessed.
* I’m really happy that this pregnancy has been relatively easy with no complications (so far).
* I love having more scans so that I can see the babies more often
* I’m lucky that most of my clothes still fit
* I’m excited about the babies coming and completing our little family
* I love it that I’m having a boy and a girl
* I love the support I’m getting from Tim
I’m actually relieved that this is my last pregnancy, we will not be trying for another baby as the risk for another set of twins is very high especially as it runs in my family and I've got my two boys and little girl, what more could I ask for?
I’m excited and looking forward to bringing the babies home, however I just know how hard the next 7-8 weeks are going to be. If I’m already complaining about how heavy I feel now then what will it be like when both of them are close to 2kg’s each?
I’m not “OVER” the pregnancy, not by far as these babies still need to bake a little longer. I’m just mourning the fact that I can’t do as much as I would like!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
I’ve finished up work now and am a ‘woman of leisure’ as my OB/Gyn likes to joke. Busy trying to get ready for Christmas and honestly I don’t know what it would’ve been like if I was working full time. It is already physically hard to get all the shopping done.
I just make sure that I have a small list of things that I need to buy and stick to one part of the shopping centre. For example if I need something from Target then I make sure that everything else on my list is located near that shop. So I park close and don’t need to walk all over the centre.
Last week I had my OB/Gyn appointment where I received rave reviews and a pat on the head for being a good pregnant women with twins. Gestational Diabetes test – normal. Iron levels – great, Haemoglobin – spot on. I was told that I’m doing better than pregnant women with a single baby!
I had my 28 week scan yesterday and our little boy is still a boy and our little girl is still a girl. Good amount of fluid around both babies and both are growing nicely. Our boy is spot on for dates and is weighing approx 1.1kg our girl is still 6 days behind but growing nicely and is weighing approx 983grams.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Plus the girl does not move as much as the little boy, which just adds to the stress and worry. As it turns out there was nothing to worry about. My little girl is definitely a little girl, no penis present. She is still measuring 6 days behind in development but has grown, which is the most important thing. Her weight is approximately 651 grams which is a good size, considering her development
Our little boy is still definitely a little boy, and is spot on for development for the dates. His is the one that is closest to my cervix and like to play havoc with my bladder. His weight is approximately 731 grams which is spot on.
The placenta’s are now fused and are nice and high, above my belly button, the babies are diagonally across my belly now, the boy at the bottom and the girl on the top.
No photo's this time around but that is ok as I now feel more relaxed and I’m glad that there are more scans this pregnancy. I have another one at 28 weeks and then at 32 weeks.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
The exercise though has really got me thinking that perhaps I have my head in the clouds a little. Also my dear friend lent me some of her daughters babies clothes, some of them I bought for her when her daughter was born at 35 weeks. Premie clothes whilst are so cute they are really tiny.
It all put things into perspective for me and something that I didn't really think about, I think that I have to realise that my babies will be small, perhaps even smaller than Jordy. He was 51 cm and 2.7kg (5.9lb) small for 37 weeks.
So now that I've gone through some of the babies clothes, I kind of know what I need to buy and I know how hard it was to find premie clothes and small sizes.
Talking to Tim about it, also helped me refocus my pending reality and accept that I will have small babies.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Clothes we have and I’m sure that we will receive a lot. Furniture we also have, as Jordy has moved into a “big bed” the cot is free. I plan to have both in the one cot initially and then separate them at a later stage (when they can roll around). Plus the thought of buying another cot right now, even a second hand one is not on my list of priorities.
We do have an issue with car seats and are in the process of determining what to do. I have a small 4WD which has been ideal with Jordy, his car seat is in the middle at the back. Tim has a medium size 4WD and having 2 4WD has given us the freedom to anywhere and each of the cars. They are not Toorak tractors as both have been off road many times.
The logical solution is to have all 3 car seats in the back of Tim’s car and then he would use mine to drive to where he parks his truck. But there is no guarantee that all the car seats will fit in the back. This issue has been playing on our minds for a while now and we are both happy to exchange cars, but the thought of putting three kids into the Medium sized 4WD does my head in, as I need to use the step to climb in myself.
I’m feeling almost desperate to be prepared mentally for our new little babies. There is things that I know for sure and we have already discussed the adjustments that will need to be made.
For example, we know that we will be sleep deprived, and we have already discussed how we are going to go about feeding the babies at night. Tim will most likely do the late night feed and I will do both the midnight and early morning feeds.
We learnt with Jordan that even though Tim really wants to help with the feeding he physically, mentally and emotionally can not handle having a broken sleep and his reaction is frustration and anger. So to avoid this we have agreed that it is not worth the stress.
Jordy will continue to go to child car but I will reduce the days from 3 to 2 and on those days I plan to be by myself with the twins. On the days where Jordy is at home we plan to have my mother stay one to two nights to also help. But this has not been explored fully.
So I know that we will be sleep deprived and have worked out strategies to cope. I also know that money will be tight, and I’ve started buying formula and nappies in advance. I’m also tyring to pay for bills and our mortgage before hand.
I recently bought a Book on Twins, from pregnancy to birth and beyond. The best thing that I could’ve bought, I’ve always felt that knowledge is power and with everything in life I’ve always wanted to know as much information as possible in order to make an educated decision if the situation is needed.
But what I don’t know is what it will be like to have premie babies, how will I cope if I have to leave one or both in the hospital? What things do I need to be aware of with premie babies.
But my main concern is how will I cope…so in order for me to combat this I decided to make a appointment with the counsellor that I saw with the PND after Jordan was born. I feel this overwhelming need to discuss strategies before hand so that I will be able to cope if the situation arises.
Plus I also feel that if I know what the worst thing that can happen is and have prepared myself as much as possible. Then anything else will be easier to handle.
Gone is my fear of how Jordan will cope and wether or not he will still feel as loved, because I really think that my little boy will be able to handle it. Tim and I have discussed how important it is that Jordan have alone time with each of us with out the babies.
My main concern these days is simply keeping these babies inside for as long as possible!
At least 13 more weeks, my little ones…ok Mummy is asking for at least 13 more weeks.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
To say that he brings joy and happiness to our lives is an understatement. If he doesn’t wake us in the morning and is still sleeping, I find myself looking forward to seeing his smile in the mornings and creeping into his room just in case he wakes up. I’ve also gone in there and deliberately woken him up.
He is a very happy little boy, that is starting to push his independence with everything and I mean everything. No is his favourite word and it is good to know that this is very normal. We haven’t had any of the full on throw yourself on the floor tantrums, but we do get the marching on the spot whining kind, but we just seem to be able to ignore this behaviour or distract him.
Most recently Jordy has been known to kick us out of his play area. One of us will try to sit down and play with him and if he doesn’t like what you are doing, he will simply point to a chair and say “Mummy csucs (meaning sit).” He has even known to tell my Mum to go and sit over there.
We spent a lot of time going to display homes around our area looking for our new house. Jordan really loved walking through the houses, he would mimic what we were saying which was so cute. But the one thing that I don’t want to forget is the uncanny nack of my son always doing a poo in these display homes. Why don’t I want to forget, well mainly if it only occurred once then it would mean anything.
It didn’t matter if we went before of after his nap, he would get to the one of the houses that we all really liked and decide to do his poo right there and then. Needless to say I learnt to start taking extra nappies and wipes with us when we went to have a look at display homes or go through the walkthrough.
Jordan is talking so much these days, there was a time that I was worried about his speech development. The best present that Jordan ever received for his birthday was wall posters for his room. There are 4 posters of the alphabet, colours, number and times. We rotate them around the room and it is Tim’s nightly ritual to point at the pictures and say the words. Now Jordan can say each word himself without Daddy needing to prompt him.
I love, love, love, how much he is talking. There is still baby babble sometimes but mostly you can understand what he is trying to say. I love that I could be anywhere in the house and I will hear “Mummy, whatchadoing” or “Mummy where are you” and I really think that he enjoys my reply of “Yes Jordy”.
Monday, November 03, 2008
First 3 months
I suffered a lot of nausea with Jordan and was home quite a lot in the first months. This time around, I was able to figure out that as soon as I was awake then I needed to eat. I couldn’t wait until after I had a shower or roll around in bed, as soon as I started thinking then I needed to jump out of bed and shove something in my mouth.
There were a lot of hits and misses, I distinctly remember talking to my mother (she looks after Jordan on Mondays) when I ran to the toilet and threw my entire breakfast up, all because I had a shower before I had eaten and the babies were not happy. Since then I have not been able to Cocco Pops.
In the mornings it seemed that I need to eat every two hours, like clock work, if there was not something in my mouth after two hours then bam a wave of nausea.
I have similar food aversions now compared with Jordy, can’t stand the smell of garlic at all. Even the taste has sent me running to the toilet. I have thrown up a lot more with these too than with Jordy. If the babies didn’t like my lunch then out it would all come.
I started feeling them kick earlier than I did with Jordy, which is a really nice feeling and now that I know where the babies are located, I feel a lot more connected.
With Jordan he would kick all over the place, and was mainly horizontal for a lot of the pregnancy and I kind of always knew where his head was. I don’t think that these will move around any more and are pretty much where they are going to be until they are born.
My little boy is on the left hand side and his head is closer to my cervix. Very active little boy, lots of big movements and because I’m sleeping more on my left side he is kicking a lot a night.
My (yet to be confirmed) little girl is on my right side also with her head down. Before we knew the sex we had already named her the “shy one” as she was a bit hard to see on the earlier scans. She is the one that is causing me at times to worry a little as there is not as much movement as her brother.
There are times when they are both awake like now, happy letting me know that all is ok in there and then there are times with one is awake and one is asleep.
This is one of the main differences with this pregnancy compared with Jordan. No matter what stage of the pregnancy I was in with Jordan I was in bed at 7pm sharp every single night and on the weekends it was not uncommon for me to have a cat nap in the afternoon. With these two I don’t feel the need to go to sleep so early, which is weird as I would’ve thought that I would be more tired.
Even though I don’t feel the need to sleep, I have slowed right down and I get physically tired requiring me to sit and rest. If I don’t rest then I suffer from abdominal cramping.
With the decision to sell our house and build another one, I started to de-clutter our house and even though I had help from my Mum and Tim. I was put on bed rest for the next 3 days as I was constantly cramping.
I never felt this type of cramping before with Jordan, its almost like period pain but not contractions. Hard to explain, but you know when you haven’t exercised for a while and the next day you are achy and have muscle spasm, it is like this but near my ovaries.
I have to be really careful how much I do, walking from work to the train station which is not even a block, but is up a hill. Causes me some discomfort so I now catch a tram for two stops. Pushing a shopping trolley is now out of the question, not only is my tummy too big but it causes cramping.
With Jordan I would be able to cover the distance of my local shopping centre twice over, now I can only manage one level on a good day.
I don’t want to give the impression that I’m complaining, because really it has not affected me that much. I’ve just had to make some small adjustments to the way I go about things.
Honestly I’m desperate to keep these babies inside me for as long as I can. When we booked into the hospital the midwife indicated that I would be lucky to make it to 36 weeks. Jordan was born at 37 weeks and was a good size, my aims is 36 weeks and like a mantra I keep on saying to myself, “Just make it to 36 weeks, 36 weeks is all I ask”.
The reason the midwife seem to think that I would be lucky is because of the cramping I’m experiencing when I’ve done the smallest amount of exercise. Even rolling in bed has become a fine art, because if I don’t do it right I cramping right up. Not a nice feeling at 3am!
Saturday, November 01, 2008
My little boy
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Ok now having said the above I want to make it perfectly clear that I strongly believe with every fiber of my body that the universe would not have given us this beautiful gift of two babies, just to set us up to fail and loose everything.
Financially we aren't as ready to have these babies as what I would like to be. All our credit cards are maxed out and the thought of being off from work for a long period of time scares the hell out of me. No income...how are we going to eat.
At the start of the year I was reading one of my Sci-Fi books and in that book the words "The universe will provide" stood out for me along with some other insightful words. So while we are both worried about finances, the house, to buy, build, renovate or stay. I believe that the universe will provide us with answers.
Going into the OI cycle that created these little ones, another decision was waiting for me at the end. Which was to stay at my current job or leave. The universe decided that for me too, as I stayed.
My excitment really started today, when I saw both my little ones on the ultrasound. How precious they were waving their hands and moving around. In March I'm going to have two extra little babies in my life.
So whilst money drives us all and is still a concern for me, those concerns are shadowed when thinking about holding my new precious little ones in March.
I've talked about the house situation before and we have reached a decision. We are going to upgrade our house, if the price is right for us and we are going to build again. Saves on the stamp duty, we are currently looking at house and land packages as they are a cheaper option than buying land and then building a house.
First thing is first, we have to pay off 5 credit cards. I'm happy to report that with some of our Tax Return we were able to finally cut one of our cards up. Cancelled, paid off in full and cut up so as to never be used again. What a day that was. Jordy had no idea why Mummy and Daddy were running around screaming at the top of our lungs and giggling like kids when were cutting the cards up.
But in the end the universe is providing us with a solution that will help us in the long run and because of that I feel that I can now fully concentrate on being excited about my two new little babies.
Monday, August 25, 2008
In the mornings I'm greeted with Hi Jordy, followed by Hi Mummy. His vocabulary amazes me, he says so many different words and 3 word sentences now. At times there is still baby babble, and I'm ok with that. Jordy also speaks Hungarian, he seems to understand that "Viz" is water and "Tej" is milk. We speak more English but now and then we try to speak Hungarian to him so that he can at least understand what both Grandparents say to him.
A very independant little man that really wants to help and do things for himself and I have to wonder if it is the influence of Day Care.
If I didn't have to work, I wouldn't. But having said that I know that Jordy benefits so much from being in Day Care 3 times a week. Not only does he sleep and eat well there, but he has his own little friends.
Droping him off is much easier now that he doesn't cry in the mornings and fingers crossed he is now over all the sickness phase. That is tough! At one point Jordy had gastro every 3 weeks. Not nice at all.
I know that he also benefits from spending time with his grandparents one on one.
Ideally I would love to work part time and spend as much time as I could with him at home. It just isn't the way it is with our life at the moment. I'm supporting the family whilst Tim is supporting the Business.
I was looking back over his photo's and I just can't believe how much he has grown! I feel so lucky and blessed!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
The shock has warn off, but it is still hard to tell people firstly that I'm pregnant and secondly that I'm having twins and I'm still finding it difficult to refer to them as 'them'.
This pregnancy has been easier with the waves of nausea surprisingly as it is meant to be worse with twins. I've only thrown up twice but I think that it was more related to what I ate rather than the babies.
We did have a scare last week as I had started spotting, a brownish colour. But I call my OB and got to see him that night and it was announced to me that there was a 95% chance that I had lost one as we could not see it on the screen during the internal ultrasound.
The next day I was off to have a proper scan, using a proper machine and we walked out relieved and happy that they were both still with us. One of my little babies is much higher in the uterus than the other making it hard to see it.
I've heard on the family grapevine that my SIL will be giving us her cot as she is done with the baby stage, which really helps. I am looking at a twin pram with a possible toddler seat or back board but am waiting a little.
At the moment I'm more anxious about the house. Do we stay, do we sell, do we build, or do we buy? It is all very confusing.
Our house is a reasonable size, with 3 bedrooms and a study and the babies will be in one room to start with anyway. My main concern is that we loose our spare bed and I know that we will need help in the middle of the night. So upgrading might be our best option.
A work collegue said to me, that surely a fold up bed is cheaper than a new house. Which is true except for the fact that we have no where to put the bed. Plus I know that I will not be going back full time to work after the babies. I can't leave all 3 to my Mum's and MIL care and childcare is just too expensive for 5 days perweek.
I think that now is the best time to be making these decisions, I earn a good wage and perhaps selling this house will helps us out of debt a little. As I said it is all very confusing.
To start with we are having a market appraisal today and from there we will be able to make a few decisions.
Personally even though I love this house, there are things that I would like to change, the laundry, the back yard and most importantly we need a toy room. Jordy plays all over the house which is fine with me, it is his house as well. But for over a year now we have been eating dinner off a coffee table as our meals area has been overtaken with toys.
I would like to have a meals area back but a good room for all the kids to play in, it won't stop toys going all over the house. But at least they would be in a central location.
I also have to wonder if I'm putting too much pressure on myself and our family just because twins are coming. Perhaps I'm making drama happen when there is a lull in our life? I just don't know.
I worry about my ability to care for two babies at once, questions like..how do I feed them both at night? Will I always choose one over the other? Will Jordy be ok and not feel left out?
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
I'm having twins, yes twins. When I say those words my heart still leaps.
Last Monday when I had the 7 week ultrasound we saw both our babies. To say we were shocked in an understatement, to say we are overwhelmed is putting things mildly.
All in all I feel blessed with the gift of these babies.
My first OB appointment is today, so I will try to update more this afternoon.
Saturday, July 05, 2008
We are all very excited!
The IF journey this time was shorter but it did take OI for us to achieve this result.
I can hear my little man singing over the monitor, but when he has a sleep I will be back to give the details!
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Here is a snapshot:'
- back to work full time
- met with Fertility guy
- was given CLOMID, yeah of all things
- had a cycle of Clomid, I was in so much pain!
- negative cycle
- waiting for to meet with Fertility guy again
- Jordan is now running
I don't know if I have a use for this blog again. I still write posts in my head but never get around to posting them. The time I have spare is preciously spent with Jordy.
The guilt that I feel working full time is massive so I over indulge on the weekends.
Tim has been working every saturday for the past 2 months.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
The actual day was planned to be low key and relaxing, but both Jordy and I were sick and didn't even eat our yummy lunch that Tim made.
Jordan has continued to be quite ill with a mouth virus that has left his mouth full of ulcers and what looks like pimples around his mouth. Hopefully it was go away soon.