Friday, December 15, 2006

4 Months

Jordan is 4 months today, last night I spent some time looking over his photo’s and it amazes me how quickly he is growing. The other day I heard someone mention somewhere something that happened in October and I sat there dumbfounded, where was October. Did we have October this year? Where was I?

It feels as though I’ve missed September, October and a little of November, I can’t remember anything that happened in those months as they are a blur.

These days I’m enjoying Jordan much more, actually we are enjoying each other. I can’t wait to wake in the morning and greet him as I look forward to every day I spend with him. There has been a big shift in how I feel as a Mother, care giver and my feelings towards Jordan. Loving him goes with out saying, but enjoying him and cherishing his smiles, giggles and even his tantrums are a different story.

The first 3 months are tough really tough and I think that the blurry period is a way of protecting yourself from really going insane. A good night sleep is also the key. Jordan is sleeping through the nights now, he has been for about a month now. Off to bed between 8:30 and 9pm and wakes up between 6am to 7:30am.

Today also marks an anniversary of a kind. This day last year I received my first positive beta for Jordan. It was 108, which can be considered as low but still it was a positive beta. A year ago today I didn’t know if I would be lucky enough to carry the pregnancy to term and I didn’t know a lot of things. I thank God with every fiber of my being for the precious gift of my son.

Happy 4 months Jordan!

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Tuesday, December 12, 2006


From August 2006 till August 2007 will be a year of firsts. Jordan’s, Tim’s and my firsts. Up until now we have had many firsts, our first cuddle, our first kiss, our first smile, giggle, cry, tears. So many firsts have already been achieved and so many more are just waiting in the wings.

This week marks two more firsts, that I feel compelled to blog about. Jordan has his first ever running nose and cough, what makes this first harder than the most is that there is nothing I can really do to help him.

Baby Panadol is all I can give him along with some comforting cuddles. Fishing for snot is not something either of us enjoys but it must be done so that he can breathe.

This weekend will be Jordan’s first sleep over at my Mum’s house, Tim’s work has a huge Christmas Party in the city and we thought it best that he stay with my parents as we don’t know when we will be coming home. Plus it gives us a chance to sleep in.

I’m not looking forward to leaving him there and I’m not sure who will be more anxious, Tim or myself. But it will be a good experience for all of us. There was NO question of leaving Jordan with my in-laws, there is no way that we could trust them to follow our instructions. Which is really very sad.

Thursday, December 07, 2006


It has taken me a while to 1) get over the day 2) get over the ‘negative’ things that happened on the day. I don’t want to remember all the bad stuff, but being the Mari that I am I have to work through all the negative stuff before I can concentrate on the good things.

Jordan was an absolute gem on the day. He woke at 6:30am, I decided to dress him in his Christening clothes before the feed (dangerous I know, but I had a huge bib on that reached his knees). After feeding him he promptly fell asleep.

We arrived at the Church on time and were waiting for the Mass to finish, in the meantime Jordan was showing off his smiling ability to everyone. But was kept in the pram as I didn’t want to over stimulate him.

When people started leaving the Mass Ellie, Jordan and I started walking up to the front. There were all these ladies, family and friends that have known me since I was a child. They have seen me grow up, dance, perform and marry, there is a real history in that place.

At one point I was completely surrounded by these people, whom I lost contact with as I don’t go to the community centre often. They were all congratulating me on the birth of my son and were all having a peek. I started crying. Ellie didn’t understand why I was crying, I didn’t expect to be moved like I was.

Finally, finally after so many years I was introducing my son to these people, my son, my blessed son. I never expected to be so very happy and proud all in one. I knew that I would see some people, but didn’t expect to have this reaction.

The Christening lasted 30 minutes which was great and he cried on cue when the priest poured the holy water over his head. To get rid of the paparazzi (photographers) Jordan promptly spewed up, which was a good sign to head off.

The rest of the day is a bit of a blur, but I think everyone enjoyed themselves. I didn’t, it was a big day and I spent most of the time trying to get him to sleep. He didn’t mind being passed like a parcel around to people.

All in all there was way too much food left, way too many drinks left and not enough photo’s taken. But it is over and done with now and part of me feels blessed to have had the chance to bring my child into God’s house.

Friday, December 01, 2006


For those that have read this blog you will already know that I love compiling lists. I sometimes find that I can’t function properly without having a list. Take this weekend for example, to avoid an all out stress attack, I’m finding myself drawn to excel to compile multiple lists.
* A list of things to buy,
* A list of things to make (cook)
* A list of what to clean
* A list of things that need to be done

I’m not looking forward to the Christening as I’m worried about how Jordan will be on the day. Will he be grumpy, how will he react to having so many people surround him.

I’m also really worried that my sister will drink too much and start a fight with my parents. Or my parents will start something with my BIL. I’m sure that I’m stressing for nothing, but I can’t help worry about hosting such an important event.

To help me prepare, Ellie is here and her job on Sunday is to follow Jordan around and if she sees him getting tired she is to step in and take him off to bed. Being his Godmother it is her job to look after him which gives me some relief.