Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Excited

Admittedly I haven't been as excited about this pregnancy as I was with the first. I've been more worried and anxious about other things and if I'm going to be brutally honest, these babies have not come at the best time. But there is never the "best time".

Ok now having said the above I want to make it perfectly clear that I strongly believe with every fiber of my body that the universe would not have given us this beautiful gift of two babies, just to set us up to fail and loose everything.

Financially we aren't as ready to have these babies as what I would like to be. All our credit cards are maxed out and the thought of being off from work for a long period of time scares the hell out of me. No income...how are we going to eat.

At the start of the year I was reading one of my Sci-Fi books and in that book the words "The universe will provide" stood out for me along with some other insightful words. So while we are both worried about finances, the house, to buy, build, renovate or stay. I believe that the universe will provide us with answers.

Going into the OI cycle that created these little ones, another decision was waiting for me at the end. Which was to stay at my current job or leave. The universe decided that for me too, as I stayed.

My excitment really started today, when I saw both my little ones on the ultrasound. How precious they were waving their hands and moving around. In March I'm going to have two extra little babies in my life.

So whilst money drives us all and is still a concern for me, those concerns are shadowed when thinking about holding my new precious little ones in March.

I've talked about the house situation before and we have reached a decision. We are going to upgrade our house, if the price is right for us and we are going to build again. Saves on the stamp duty, we are currently looking at house and land packages as they are a cheaper option than buying land and then building a house.

First thing is first, we have to pay off 5 credit cards. I'm happy to report that with some of our Tax Return we were able to finally cut one of our cards up. Cancelled, paid off in full and cut up so as to never be used again. What a day that was. Jordy had no idea why Mummy and Daddy were running around screaming at the top of our lungs and giggling like kids when were cutting the cards up.

But in the end the universe is providing us with a solution that will help us in the long run and because of that I feel that I can now fully concentrate on being excited about my two new little babies.

12 weeks scan

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Monday, August 25, 2008

Update on Jordy

My little man, calls himself as Jordy with a French slant on the 'J'. Everything is Jordy's sock, shoes, bed...you name it it's Jordy's.

In the mornings I'm greeted with Hi Jordy, followed by Hi Mummy. His vocabulary amazes me, he says so many different words and 3 word sentences now. At times there is still baby babble, and I'm ok with that. Jordy also speaks Hungarian, he seems to understand that "Viz" is water and "Tej" is milk. We speak more English but now and then we try to speak Hungarian to him so that he can at least understand what both Grandparents say to him.

A very independant little man that really wants to help and do things for himself and I have to wonder if it is the influence of Day Care.

If I didn't have to work, I wouldn't. But having said that I know that Jordy benefits so much from being in Day Care 3 times a week. Not only does he sleep and eat well there, but he has his own little friends.

Droping him off is much easier now that he doesn't cry in the mornings and fingers crossed he is now over all the sickness phase. That is tough! At one point Jordy had gastro every 3 weeks. Not nice at all.

I know that he also benefits from spending time with his grandparents one on one.

Ideally I would love to work part time and spend as much time as I could with him at home. It just isn't the way it is with our life at the moment. I'm supporting the family whilst Tim is supporting the Business.

I was looking back over his photo's and I just can't believe how much he has grown! I feel so lucky and blessed!

Jordy at his 2nd Brithday

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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Doing ok

My last post was short and sharp and I promised an update. Well you are all probably used to me being MIA.

The shock has warn off, but it is still hard to tell people firstly that I'm pregnant and secondly that I'm having twins and I'm still finding it difficult to refer to them as 'them'.

This pregnancy has been easier with the waves of nausea surprisingly as it is meant to be worse with twins. I've only thrown up twice but I think that it was more related to what I ate rather than the babies.

We did have a scare last week as I had started spotting, a brownish colour. But I call my OB and got to see him that night and it was announced to me that there was a 95% chance that I had lost one as we could not see it on the screen during the internal ultrasound.

The next day I was off to have a proper scan, using a proper machine and we walked out relieved and happy that they were both still with us. One of my little babies is much higher in the uterus than the other making it hard to see it.

I've heard on the family grapevine that my SIL will be giving us her cot as she is done with the baby stage, which really helps. I am looking at a twin pram with a possible toddler seat or back board but am waiting a little.

At the moment I'm more anxious about the house. Do we stay, do we sell, do we build, or do we buy? It is all very confusing.

Our house is a reasonable size, with 3 bedrooms and a study and the babies will be in one room to start with anyway. My main concern is that we loose our spare bed and I know that we will need help in the middle of the night. So upgrading might be our best option.

A work collegue said to me, that surely a fold up bed is cheaper than a new house. Which is true except for the fact that we have no where to put the bed. Plus I know that I will not be going back full time to work after the babies. I can't leave all 3 to my Mum's and MIL care and childcare is just too expensive for 5 days perweek.

I think that now is the best time to be making these decisions, I earn a good wage and perhaps selling this house will helps us out of debt a little. As I said it is all very confusing.

To start with we are having a market appraisal today and from there we will be able to make a few decisions.

Personally even though I love this house, there are things that I would like to change, the laundry, the back yard and most importantly we need a toy room. Jordy plays all over the house which is fine with me, it is his house as well. But for over a year now we have been eating dinner off a coffee table as our meals area has been overtaken with toys.

I would like to have a meals area back but a good room for all the kids to play in, it won't stop toys going all over the house. But at least they would be in a central location.

I also have to wonder if I'm putting too much pressure on myself and our family just because twins are coming. Perhaps I'm making drama happen when there is a lull in our life? I just don't know.

I worry about my ability to care for two babies at once, questions like..how do I feed them both at night? Will I always choose one over the other? Will Jordy be ok and not feel left out?