On the way to work this morning it dawned on me that I hadn’t really posted about the physical experience of this pregnancy for a while. I want to record how I’m feeling so that next time I can look back and not forget and then panic again.
Since I fell pregnant with Bobim my memory and mental capacity has really dropped, I’ve noticed that if I have a lunch break or a meeting in the afternoon, I’ve lost my concentration that there is no power on this earth that can help me concentrate again. So to avoid being too tired in the afternoons I don’t have a break from work, I keep going and I keep my mind working until it is time to go home.
Lately I’m having trouble determining the difference between fantasy and reality. I have a dream at night and I wake in the morning convinced that it was real. Most recent episode saw me looking in the wool box for a severed head, yes I was convinced that not only was I capable of killing someone but that I kept the persons head.
My mind is literally mush in the afternoons, waiting on the train platform I stare at the destination sign on the approaching train, I know that it is the right one there are people that I recognise who also disembark at the same train station. Yet I have a slight panic attack through the whole trip wondering if I’m on the right train…..how bizarre I know!
Ok enough about my mental problems cause it is making me feel very uncomfortable and I’m starting to wonder how I do actually function.
Bobim and kicking
From baby websites that I lurk around there are women that count the number of kicks they receive during the day, I haven’t bothered with counting. I wake up he is kicking; I have breakfast and afterwards a lot of kicking / movement; on the train a lot of kicking / movement. Walking, sitting, running, sleeping, relaxing movement, movement, movement. He never seems to stop which is ok if only he gave my bladder a bit of a rest now and then.
The kicking / movement can be painful when my bladder has a hint of urine present. The weirdest feeling in the world is when I have a foot kicked against my cervix….oooch. I feel Bobim mostly from my waist and below, I haven’t had any kicks in the ribs and I doubt that my baby belly will be moving up. I wonder if the ‘old wives’ tales are true that if you carry low then it is a boy. Well I’m having a boy and he is low.
Oh I’m sleeping a lot averaging about 10-11 hours a night even more on the weekends. Although I do have 2-3 hourly trips to the toilet. I’m still able to sleep on my stomach…I know go figure…I’ve started using a ‘squishy’ pillow between my legs to stop me from rolling my back at night.
I’ve gotta stop talking about sleeping as it just reminds me of my bed and how much I crave for it right this minute….
None what so ever, I don’t crave anything different from my normal diet.
No back pain, I guess that the ‘relaxin’ hormone has helped alleviate my back pain issues, but that does not stop me from having monthly massages.
Breast / clothes.
My breasts are no bigger I have not had to buy any maternity bra’s, or maternity clothes everything that I have still fits. There are a few pants that I can’t wear to work as they are a little tight…but only just felt that way last week.
The only difference is the colour of my nipples they are a bit darker. Leaking has almost stoped although I will not stop wearing nursing pads as I can just see myself in a meeting and I get this wet patch in the middle of it…better safe than sorry.
Well that was a bit bigger update than I thought…so I will stop now…as I do have work to do…