Thursday, May 11, 2006

The Big OS Trip

This morning I woke up very early to be driven to the Train station as this afternoon I’m meeting Tim at my parent’s house, where we will be taking them to the airport for their big trip. I did not sleep well last night at all, probably only managed about 5 hours in total.

Part of me feels like a selfish little child as I don’t want my Mummy and Daddy to go overseas. I have a bad feeling about this trip and am really worried how things will go for them over there. My Dad is not a well man, after 2 strokes he has limited movement on his right side, he can walk short distances but is mainly reliant on a wheel chair and since the ‘Family issue’ most recently his memory and temper have gotten a lot worse.

The reason for the trip? Well my Grandmother is very ill, mind you she has been ill for over 15 years. Ever 2-4 years my mother has the urge to go and see her “Because she may die soon”. This has been her excuse for many a trip. I may sound harsh but my mother loves my grandmother unconditionally even though she is treated like crap. It seems that the urge to visit her mother is also an urge to be emotionally abused. There has never been anything that I can say to waver my mother once this ‘urge’ is upon her.

I had hoped being pregnant would sway her to stay, but all I got back was that their trip was only for 7 weeks and they would be back for the birth…and…“Oh just think how many beautiful Hungarian Baby stuff I can bring back”… I would rather them stay here, all the stuff I need I can get here in Australia.

Re-reading this post I do come across selfish and perhaps even a bit jealous, I just don’t understand the need to go when my parents have children here who desperately need them. When the whole ‘family episode’ happened, an inkling of hope stepped in…perhaps they will not go now that Brother needed them….but no my mother was and still is adamant to go.

I just hope and pray that the next 7 weeks fly by and my parents have a good time. My father has very high expectations of his ability to catch public transport and feels that his sisters will be capable to meet his special needs, when ever this is mentioned; I refrain from snorting as his expectations are ridiculous. He can hardly get on a Bus, Train or Tram here in Melbourne let alone doing the same thing in very old City as Budapest, or the old Hungarian small towns.

A lot of friends and family say that there is no need to worry, “Mari you and Bobim are the most important things in your life, concentrate on Bobim and not your Parents trip”, or “There is nothing you can do from Melbourne to help when they are in Hungary don’t stress”. At these comments and other like it I simply nod my head and refrain from speaking my mind.

There is nothing anyone can do or say to stop me from worrying about my parents. I know my parents very well and know that my mother has the tendency to expect great gestures from people and when they don’t happen she cracks it. I also know that my father will not be able to make the trip to visit my grandmother as she lives in a remote hovel of a small (read miniscule) country town where there is no wheelchair friendly transport near by, and he will be left with one of his sisters. Who will look after him?

I also know my Aunties, and whilst they are my family and I love them dearly they have their own lives and it does not stop because Mr and Mrs Mari’s parent from the great land of OZ have arrived. My father has great expectations and it is the let down of those that will hurt him dearly and I have tried to reason and reiterate that it will not be as he expects but he is adamant that I am wrong and his sister will do what he expects. I know this Aunty way too well.

I could go on and on about this all day and it does nothing to alleviate my worry over this God damn pointless trip. Bring on this afternoon so that I can git the farewells over and done with and have my parents come back safely home.

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