I know that our Bobim is with us, the blood tests and multiple hpt’s have also confirmed it, for some reason part of me doesn’t really believe it. I keep questioning myself, AM I REALLY PREGNANT?
It all just doesn’t feel real and I wonder if this is normal?
Or am I trying to protect myself?
I’m still scared that I will loose Bobim, but that hasn’t stopped us from telling people. Tim and I discussed this at length, over many hours, days even and we both wanted people in our life to acknowledge the fact that Bobim is here with us and if for some reason something does happen, or Bobim will know that it was Loved, Cherished and wanted.
I also feel so out of my depth, Infertility I felt that I was well schooled on the subject. Trying to conceive using assisted reproductive technology was my life, month to month.
But this pregnant business is totally new to me (obviously); I’m reading “Up the Duff”. I was stupid enough to tell Tim the other day that Bobim is the size of a coffee bean. This is how Tim refers to our Baby….Coffee bean!
I’ve resorted to ringing my mother for odd things and asking her, is it normal to feel like you need to pee but nothing comes out?
Is it normal to be this FUCKING forgetful, as I can’t even remember the names of things?
Is it normal for my calf muscles to feel like they are on fire?
I feel as though I almost need to have a crash course on pregnancy which is funny as I’ve been striving to get this far and when I’m here, I’m loosing it and feel totally lost.