Thursday, April 06, 2006

The 18-20 scan

All went well and it was nice to see our little one again, I can’t get enough of seeing Bobim. I don’t blame Tom Cruise for buying an ultrasound machine, as I would love to see Bobim as many times as possible.

Bobim’s report is that we are ahead of schedule by 2 days and going by this my EDD has now changed to the 21st Aug 2006, I have not been able to update the ticker above as I don’t have access at work.

You know the saying (I bet you have all heard it before) “We don’t care what the gender is just as long as it is healthy”, for me I never ‘got’ this particular saying at all…it was more important to ‘know’ if Bobim was a boy or a girl. But when we were told, is paled into insignificance…right at that moment I got more reassurance knowing that Bobim’s head and weight were exactly in the ‘normal’ range.

After the scan in the car, we sat there stunned for a few minutes both just blinking away not saying much to each other, Mimi finally turns to me and admitted to me the thoughts that were going through both our minds, which was that we were both a little disappointed knowing that we were having a boy.

Then next thing that came out of my mouth was “Do you show the same amount of affection and love to a boy as you do a girl?”…The look of utter disgust on Mimi’s face gave me the answer…I was being stupid…of course you do.

I didn’t sleep well last night as I was stressing over my reaction…Will I love this child as much even if it is a boy?….Why did I want a little girl so much? I realised at 3am this morning that the main reason why I wanted a little girl was because I knew everything there was to know about looking after a girl baby. I was 14 when Ellie was born and spent most of my teenage years helping my sister look after both her girls. I had know idea where to start with a boy….I felt like I had been thrown out of my comfort zone…a boy…shit…..a boy….will I smother and love him too much that he will turn out to a be a pansy?….shit….

I came to realise that I don’t care if my first child is a boy, one day I may get my little girl. But then again it did….doesn’t matter because Bobim’s first report was that he is all ‘normal’…isn’t that amazing?


Bugsy said...

That IS amazing! A boy! I know what you mean. I think i would prefer a girl first but you will be shocked at the amount of love you have for this little boy. It will be fun, different, and he will be perfect. A son! Wow. I am so happy for you that everything is "normal". I can never get sick of hearing that word.

Well done hun - very excited for you.

Hoping said...