Saturday, August 05, 2006

Confessions from an Infertile

I’ve been putting this off, I didn’t want to do it, but now I think that it is time to face facts and not put it off any longer. I have to do it, there is no reason to keep it around any longer. It is just taking up space and gathering dust.

What is it…you may ask….it is the sharps bin. The bin that I once used to regularly discard empty vials of drugs, syringes and needles to help conceive this child that I’m carrying.

For a long time the bin was kept in the exact same place on the counter in our ensuite bathroom. I moved it to the cupboard when I was about 14 weeks pregnant, perhaps I should’ve taken care of the bin then, but for some reason I kept onto it.

When I cleaned that part of the house, I calmly took the bin and box out, threw away the empty wrappers away and then neatly packed the needles, labels, alcohol wipes and mixing syringe back into the box and put it all away along with the bin. I even wiped the bin down of dust, instead of closing it off and taking it to the pharmacy to be disposed off properly.

I don’t know why I’m hanging onto this bin, it is not like I can use it again when and if we start trying for another child. It is full, there is a red line that you should not go above.

“It’s time to go sharps bin”, but why is it so hard to let go of something that I should be happy about?

1 comment:

Em said...

You are entering unchartered waters. It is scary as well as exciting.