Wednesday, September 15, 2004

The first goodbye

Dearest Bobim
I found out on Saturday that we definitely lost you. I didn’t even know that you were with us until last Wednesday but by then I had already lost you. I wish that you had stayed and we could’ve gotten to know each other better.
I should’ve known that the Pain I was experiencing last Monday was my body letting me know that I was loosing you, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much today and maybe then I would have so many doubts in my mind.
You may not be physically with us at this moment but I know that you are still with us in spirit. You maybe seeing how upset I am and that I’m not coping too well, but that doesn’t mean that we won’t try again to have you. One way or another you will be with us, Mummy just needs sometime to grieve over the fact that you were physically here but now you are gone.
Bobim – My heart hurts so bad, the pain is worse than when I physically lost you, however with all pain it eventually goes away or you get used to it. At the moment it is unbearable and this is why Mummy is taking a break from the world.
So this month we decided to take a short break form trying for you, with the injections and being monitored so closely. But come October we will try again, the nurse just want to see if my period comes back normally.
I love you with all my heart and one day I will read this again and hopefully by then it won’t hurt so much.
Lots of hugs and kisses.

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