Friday, September 10, 2004

When I first new

BobimI didn’t write to you on Tuesday as my period arrived on Monday and I thought that it would be a waste of time to go for a blood test when I knew that it would be negative. Or so I thought! I finally got in touch with my nurse and she scheduled another blood for Wednesday.
I was happily waiting for the results of the blood test getting ready and excited about starting another cycle. When my nurse called yesterday afternoon, she told me that I had HCG levels in my blood. These levels are only produced if the person is pregnant.
Bobim – I was shocked to find out that you are finally with us, but that I might be loosing you at the same time! P told me not to get my hopes up too high as I am bleeding and it is not a good sign and my HCG levels are low 51. When I got off the phone with P I sat in the meeting room for a long time just crying..happy tears little one, they were happy tears. I couldn’t believe that you were/are with me, right now you are inside me fighting to stay. I rang Daddy in tears and could hardly tell him that you were here. Daddy too started to cry.
I then rang Pappa and could only say “You may be a grandfather” and he couldn’t talk to me as he too was crying. I’m trying not to get my hopes up too high as I may have already lost you. But it is hard; part of me feels like jumping up and down running around the office screaming, “My Bobim is finally here!”
Ellie sent me an SMS last night and again this morning, I haven’t told her yet as we find out on Saturday if you are here to stay or if I’ve lost you. There are a lot of people hoping that you are here to stay, I’m sending you all our love little on and try to be brave and fight to stay with us. Only two more sleeps till I know if you are here for good.
Lot’s of love little one.

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