Friday, August 12, 2005

Dear Bobim

I know that it has been a while since I last wrote you a letter; this does not mean that I don’t think of you. You are never far from my thoughts.

We are going to see a new Fertility specialist on Monday and part of me is very excited yet another part is also terrified and full of questions. We are half way through the third year of really trying to have you and it seems to be getting harder rather than easier. By now you should’ve been with us, you should’ve been reaching a birthday.

By now I should be starting to try and conceive your brother or sister. This is not how I had envisioned my life. I always wanted to a ‘young’ Mum having you in my mid twenties, but now it looks like that you will be joining us in my early thirties, if ever.

I have to believe that you will be with us soon otherwise I will go insane I think. Daddy and I were talking the other day about our plans for the future and now that Daddy has started studying we were talking about what will happen in three years time.

We both agreed that we did not want to be ‘Bobim-less’ in 3 years time, but we haven’t agreed as to when we would stop trying for you. I’m not ready to say STOP, it has been enough. I am ready for the consequences of that decision but just not ready to give into my infertility. There has to be a way that you will be conceived and stay with us. I believe that there is a solution out there for you and me to be together, what the answer is I don’t know. I just pray that this new Dr will help.

1 comment:

Em said...

Good luck with the appointment. I know how you feel Mari. I really wanted to be a mum by the time I was 30. I am 29 in a few months's time.