Thursday, August 09, 2007

Next Week

Next Wednesday marks a very special occasion, Jordan will be a year old and while I’m busy preparing for his big Birthday bash. All of us are sick with the flu and I’m sick of being sick.

We have all been suffering off and on for 6 weeks now and I’ve taken so much time off work because Jordan has been so unwell, poor little man.
The amazing thing is that he is such a trooper, even while having his nose blocked and a bad cough he still happily crawls around on the floor playing. Nothing will stand in the way of Jordan playing!

I had a real fright during these 6 weeks as at one stage Jordan had a really high temperature and Panadol wouldn’t take it down even though we were administering it every 4 hours. A Tepid bath helped but we resorted to using Baby Nurofen which worked within 15 minutes.

I look back over the year and what a year it has been! I’ve never been more happier and yet at the same time never felt more inadequate, anxious and guilty. Yes guilty, almost everything that I do I can easily find a way to make myself feel guilty.

Having someone baby sit Jordan so that we could go to the Movies (only rarely done) – brings on thoughts like “Why did you have a child just to leave him with someone else?” Or going back to work – oh boy the guilt there is unbelievable, it is made especially worse that Jordan is in a Child Care centre 2 days a week and he cries so much when I leave him. It breaks my heart every single time.

I just hope that we all get over this bout of flu/cold whatever before Jordan’s big special day!

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