Some hard lessons were learnt last week and emotionally it was a very difficult.
So we are all still here together in one body and even though the end is only 10 days away, it is going to be a long very long 10 days. I revisited an old haunt of mine, dark disturbing thoughts were cropping up in the middle of the night. I recognise them for what they are a means to tell me that it is all getting too much to handle.
I spoke to the Dr K on Thursday about bringing the surgery forward. I spoke to him about the thoughts that I was having, about snapping at Tim and Jordan, about the lack of sleep due to the pain, about just wanting these babies out.
He gave me 3 days; he has brought the surgery forward only 3 days and I was devastated!
It was like a slap in the face and I was a blubbering mess on the way home. Lucky Tim had finished work really early and came home and comforted me and lucky Jordy was in child care as I didn’t want him to see me like that…ever.
Dr K wants me to go on Anti depressants for the thoughts and go back to the centre to talk to someone. When I attempted to make an appointment, the receptionist was not helpful or friendly, so I gave up. Then I get a phone call from my GP requesting that they see me, I felt that people were over reacting and that the only thing that is going to help is delivering these children.
So it has been my mission to try anything to bring on this labour and the lesson that I have learnt is that these babies are just too comfortable and it seems that I’m trying to control something that is beyond me.
I’ve tried:
* Raspberry leaf tea, drinking it like it is water about 5-8 cups a day.
* Sex – only makes the Braxton hick contractions stronger
* Walking – only makes the abdominal cramping worse
* Acupressure – I paid and downloaded a book about trying different acupressure points to help dilate the cervix, help a baby engage and intiate labour. Whilst I’ve noticed that the girls head is lower than the boys, there is no way for me to tell if this acupressure has worked. But we were doing it every 2 hours for 2 days and nothing has happened.
3 comments:
Maybe the longer the babies stay in, the better they will sleep when they do arrive ;) Trying to be positive here...
Thanks Carrie, I was saying to my husband the other night that there is a better chance that the babies will come home with me when I'm released from hospital. I too am trying to be positive in a difficult situation!
Ohhh I like Carrie's thought. I would definately hang on to that one - plus you are right - the longer you wait the more likely the babies will only have a short hospital stay.
I can't imagine what you are going through right now, but we think you are doing wonderfully.
Sometimes when things get a bit stressful for me i tell myself that in 6 months time this all won't seem so bad. Sometimes that works!
Thinking of you hun. Let me know if there is anything i can do. Take care sweets.
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