No wonder

Dr K checked my cervix yesterday, still closed and to be honest I was a little disappointed as the contractions were quite strong on Wednesday night. Blood pressure and everything else is going along just fine.

So I’m just waiting, waiting and waiting, you would think that I would be used to waiting. Anyone that goes through fertility treatment is forced to do a lot of waiting. Waiting for your period to arrive, waiting for blood test results, waiting for ultrasounds, waiting to see your fertility specialist and then the dreaded two week wait. Once you find out your pregnant, you then have to wait for additional hCG beta testing and results.

I’m not a patient person and I hate waiting.

The ultrasound was surprising to say the least. The books say that the average weight of these babies should be approximately 2.3kg. My little boy weighs 2.689kg and my little girl weighs 2.501kg. No wonder I’m struggling and my belly feels so heavy.

My main concern after the ultrasound was that the babies are both breech, that is head up and when I spoke to Dr K’s midwife afterwards, I was told that if my water breaks I’m to go to hospital immediately, no waiting for Tim to come home, having both babies in breech could be dangerous.

I decided to ask my friend to buy some Raspberry Leaf tea to help bring on the labour. When I told Tim this he basically used my own beliefs as a wake up call. The universe will provide, but in this sense he meant that the universe will decide when these babies will arrive. He was strongly against me drinking the tea and believes that the babies will arrive when they are ready.

It was very hard to hear and very hard to accept, as my first thought was that he is not the one carrying these babies. He is not the one dealing with the contractions and he is not the one that can’t roll around in bed. I became quite emotional about this and just feel so helpless.