12 weeks scan

Update on Jordy

My little man, calls himself as Jordy with a French slant on the 'J'. Everything is Jordy's sock, shoes, bed...you name it it's Jordy's.

In the mornings I'm greeted with Hi Jordy, followed by Hi Mummy. His vocabulary amazes me, he says so many different words and 3 word sentences now. At times there is still baby babble, and I'm ok with that. Jordy also speaks Hungarian, he seems to understand that "Viz" is water and "Tej" is milk. We speak more English but now and then we try to speak Hungarian to him so that he can at least understand what both Grandparents say to him.

A very independant little man that really wants to help and do things for himself and I have to wonder if it is the influence of Day Care.

If I didn't have to work, I wouldn't. But having said that I know that Jordy benefits so much from being in Day Care 3 times a week. Not only does he sleep and eat well there, but he has his own little friends.

Droping him off is much easier now that he doesn't cry in the mornings and fingers crossed he is now over all the sickness phase. That is tough! At one point Jordy had gastro every 3 weeks. Not nice at all.

I know that he also benefits from spending time with his grandparents one on one.

Ideally I would love to work part time and spend as much time as I could with him at home. It just isn't the way it is with our life at the moment. I'm supporting the family whilst Tim is supporting the Business.

I was looking back over his photo's and I just can't believe how much he has grown! I feel so lucky and blessed!

Jordy at his 2nd Brithday

Doing ok

My last post was short and sharp and I promised an update. Well you are all probably used to me being MIA.

The shock has warn off, but it is still hard to tell people firstly that I'm pregnant and secondly that I'm having twins and I'm still finding it difficult to refer to them as 'them'.

This pregnancy has been easier with the waves of nausea surprisingly as it is meant to be worse with twins. I've only thrown up twice but I think that it was more related to what I ate rather than the babies.

We did have a scare last week as I had started spotting, a brownish colour. But I call my OB and got to see him that night and it was announced to me that there was a 95% chance that I had lost one as we could not see it on the screen during the internal ultrasound.

The next day I was off to have a proper scan, using a proper machine and we walked out relieved and happy that they were both still with us. One of my little babies is much higher in the uterus than the other making it hard to see it.

I've heard on the family grapevine that my SIL will be giving us her cot as she is done with the baby stage, which really helps. I am looking at a twin pram with a possible toddler seat or back board but am waiting a little.

At the moment I'm more anxious about the house. Do we stay, do we sell, do we build, or do we buy? It is all very confusing.

Our house is a reasonable size, with 3 bedrooms and a study and the babies will be in one room to start with anyway. My main concern is that we loose our spare bed and I know that we will need help in the middle of the night. So upgrading might be our best option.

A work collegue said to me, that surely a fold up bed is cheaper than a new house. Which is true except for the fact that we have no where to put the bed. Plus I know that I will not be going back full time to work after the babies. I can't leave all 3 to my Mum's and MIL care and childcare is just too expensive for 5 days perweek.

I think that now is the best time to be making these decisions, I earn a good wage and perhaps selling this house will helps us out of debt a little. As I said it is all very confusing.

To start with we are having a market appraisal today and from there we will be able to make a few decisions.

Personally even though I love this house, there are things that I would like to change, the laundry, the back yard and most importantly we need a toy room. Jordy plays all over the house which is fine with me, it is his house as well. But for over a year now we have been eating dinner off a coffee table as our meals area has been overtaken with toys.

I would like to have a meals area back but a good room for all the kids to play in, it won't stop toys going all over the house. But at least they would be in a central location.

I also have to wonder if I'm putting too much pressure on myself and our family just because twins are coming. Perhaps I'm making drama happen when there is a lull in our life? I just don't know.

I worry about my ability to care for two babies at once, questions like..how do I feed them both at night? Will I always choose one over the other? Will Jordy be ok and not feel left out?

There are two!

I'm having twins, yes twins. When I say those words my heart still leaps.

Last Monday when I had the 7 week ultrasound we saw both our babies. To say we were shocked in an understatement, to say we are overwhelmed is putting things mildly.

All in all I feel blessed with the gift of these babies.

My first OB appointment is today, so I will try to update more this afternoon.

BFP!!

This is a quick post to celebrate the good news that I'm expecting my second little one!

We are all very excited!

The IF journey this time was shorter but it did take OI for us to achieve this result.

I can hear my little man singing over the monitor, but when he has a sleep I will be back to give the details!

It has been a while

I know I know bad blogger.

Here is a snapshot:'
- back to work full time
- met with Fertility guy
- was given CLOMID, yeah of all things
- had a cycle of Clomid, I was in so much pain!
- negative cycle
- waiting for to meet with Fertility guy again
- Jordan is now running

I don't know if I have a use for this blog again. I still write posts in my head but never get around to posting them. The time I have spare is preciously spent with Jordy.

The guilt that I feel working full time is massive so I over indulge on the weekends.

Tim has been working every saturday for the past 2 months.

Christmas

Jordy's first look at the Christmas tree, he was a little scared of it and we have been lucky that it is still standing. Jordy didn't like Santa this year and screamed when he sat on the chair. Perhaps next yeart.

The actual day was planned to be low key and relaxing, but both Jordy and I were sick and didn't even eat our yummy lunch that Tim made.

Jordan has continued to be quite ill with a mouth virus that has left his mouth full of ulcers and what looks like pimples around his mouth. Hopefully it was go away soon.

Picture says it all

I did start taking the folate.

Every night Tim baths Jordy, it is his time with his son. I was making the formula (yes still on formula as Jordy can't handle full cows milk), for the next day when I heard Jordy's full out laughter, no little giggle a full belly laugh. Tim was blowing bubbles and they were popping on his head. Jordy thought it was hillarious.

It was at that the precice moment when I grabbed the jar and poped the pill, the one that I had been dreading.

Uhhnmm clearing my throat.."Hello, my name is Mari and I'm trying to conceive my next baby". Phew glad that is now off my chest!

I have been puting off writting this post as there are a few at work that have this blog address. This time around I don't want to advertise that I'm trying for a baby, this time I want to keep the pain, heart ache, good and bad news to myself for a while.

Before Jordan I need the world to know the injustice of Infertility. But I now know the journey that I'm taking and I want to keep that part of my life totally separate from my work life. I does not belong there, it really never did.

As you can see from the photo below, our first month back on the road was a negative. But there is still no sign of my period and I'm on CD39 and this test was done this morning. The plan is to track my cycles for 3 months (old habits die hard as I've really been tracking my cycles since Jordan was born). Then after 3 months see the fertility specialist (fs) again and start Ovulation Induction.

But I think that I might start making enquiries with the fs offices now, and book in to see him in the new year.

Walking

On the 16th of October, Jordy took his first real steps on his own. He had been cruising along the furniture for a long time, there was always the hint of him walking on his own. He would also happily walking holding onto my hand or the wall or Thomas.

But to let go and step out on his own, he needed his cousin Damon to show him what it is all about. The day before these photo's were taken, we went to visit Damon and Grady. Damon was running circles around Jordan who thought it was the best fun, the next day he simply let go and started walking around. I bet he thought "If Damon can do it so can I".

It also took Damon to show Jordy how to stand up on his own with out the help of piece of furniture or a person.

Bugsy - do you notice what he is wearing? It is one of the Bibs you made for Jordy!

Books

I can't remember when I first gave Jordy his book, but he just can't get enough of them. I can sit him down with a pile and he will happily read to himself.

I'm most proud of how much he likes his books and really try encourage this with him. We spend hours sitting there and reading, flipping the pages and just babbling to the books. Where ever we go, there are books packed.

It was only late in my life after High school that I found my passion of books and now I just can't get enough of them. I love the last photo, it is so cute with the book on his belly!

Favourite Place to play

I know that it has been a while, I've lost my access to Blogger from work. Blogging from work is not a good idea, but then coming home from work and then blogging is just not as easy as it used to be. There is much to talk about and there will be many posts coming today (at least while Jordy is alseep).

But firslty I wanted to share with you my favourite place to play with Jordan...my bed. I learnt a while ago that if Jordy was upset or whining I would grab him and roll around on the bed. He soon loved the bed playtime cause he has my undevided attention and we would roll around and sing "There were 10 in the bed and the little one said...".

I've always got my camera handy and posting all the "bed play" photo's would be too much but here is a quick look at some of the fun we have had playing in bed.

Latest Invite

My friend was kind enough to allow me to do her invitation for her beautiful little girl. I took the photo and put together the invite....what do you think?

Feet

This is a silly post, but I really want to get back into bloging as I miss it.

I have a foot phobia, I hate that part of my body…hate despise it. You know those commercials where all you see is the foot rubbing under the white blanket, how it is meant to illustrate the romance and hot steamy sex the couple are having?

Well that would never happen in my bed as I can’t stand anyone’s foot being close to mine. I will literally freak out, even in an accident at night I will wake in a cold sweat. My brother used to torment me with his feet placing them an inch away from my face all along saying “I’m not touching you!” I still shudder from the thought!

There are still times when Tim will chase me around the house trying to touch me with his feet…saying “here comes stinky feet”, childish I know!

All this fear until, I had Jordan’s feet to play with, now I know that one day they will turn into the things that I despise, but right now I can’t get enough of them. They are always in my hands and I’m always tickling them. After a bath they always get a rub and loads of kisses.
While the weather here is starting to warm up I decided to take Jordy out side to walk around one the grass and I just loved the look of our feet in the grass, so I took a photo to remind me in years to come that at this moment I cherish his feet, but most of all it is to remind me of how blessed I am.

Christening invitation & Thank you

You can't really see the writing and this is not what the invite looked like. I printed the words onto a white transparent paper that had a pearl sheen to it, I then punched two holes at the top and with a piece of blue ribbon tied the white paper to a blue card that I had cut to size.

The Thank you card was much smaller and was printed onto plain white paper and then stuck to blue cardboard.

I can't seem to find Ellies invite and the birth announcement can be found here

Invitation & Thankyou

This was the invite that I sent for Jordy's Birthday, I made it myself and printed them at home. I saw a similar Invite on line and I just new that I could make one just as good. It took me a while and I loved doing it. I downloaded the Fonts from http://www.dafont.com/ and then used Paint to manually colour in the Train. I used Microsoft Power Point to create the invite and downloaded the balloons as a picture and just copied and changed the colour.

This is the Thank you card that I also made. The photo was a taken when Jordan was 10 months old but know one knows that....my son loves to sleep in the most weird positions.

I have made Jordan's Birth announcement & Thankyou his Christening invites, now his Birthday invites. I also made Ellie's Invites. Perhaps this could be a new career for me? But I'm keen to know what you think, I will post the other examples as well.

Party Photos!

My Mum made the cake, and I decorated it, you can tell by the Icing letters as they are a little bent. The theme for Jordy's party was colourful, I could've easily done a Thomas the Tank theme or Bob theme, but I know that right now Jordan loves colour anything colourful attracts his eyes and sweet little hands...and eventually his mouth!

This in my little Family!

This is the after shot, it is 9:30pm and Jordy is still going strong...what a party animal!

To my Birthday boy!

Happy 1st Birthday my precious little man!

This morning I woke to the sound of your talking, you were happily talking away to your beloved red doggie teddy Rolfy. I lay there listening to your talking remembering the mornings when I would be awaken by your hungry cries for food or demanding that I pay attention to your nappy.

When I walked into your room you greeted me by standing in your cot Rolfy in one hand happily smiling, and when I walked over you started jumping up and down with excitement and giggling. What a way to start the day with a greeting like that!

This past year has been full of firsts, your first cry when you were born. Your first cuddle when you were placed in my arms. Your first bath, where you happily floated in the sink full of warm water.
Your first smile,
Your first giggle
Your first laugh
The first time you rolled over
The first time you sat by yourself
Your first commando crawl
The first time your pulled yourself up to stand
Your first Christmas
Your first Easter
Your first Fathers Day
Your first Mothers Day

So many new things were again discovered through your eyes. I love it how you are so fascinated with bright lights. Your eyes shine and twinkle when you are being so cheeky.

The happiness and love that you have brought to our lives is the reason why I never gave up in trying to conceive you. I miss your baby smell and your baby antics but I cherish the little boy I see before me now.

I was scared and terrified that you would not love me as much as I love you but all I have to do is look into your eyes to see the unconditional love you have for us. You will look for me in the room and smile, it is our secret cheeky I saw my Mummy smile that just fills my heart to the brim.

My precious little man Happy first Birthday, with all my heart and soul.
Your Mummy.

Next Week

Next Wednesday marks a very special occasion, Jordan will be a year old and while I’m busy preparing for his big Birthday bash. All of us are sick with the flu and I’m sick of being sick.

We have all been suffering off and on for 6 weeks now and I’ve taken so much time off work because Jordan has been so unwell, poor little man.
The amazing thing is that he is such a trooper, even while having his nose blocked and a bad cough he still happily crawls around on the floor playing. Nothing will stand in the way of Jordan playing!

I had a real fright during these 6 weeks as at one stage Jordan had a really high temperature and Panadol wouldn’t take it down even though we were administering it every 4 hours. A Tepid bath helped but we resorted to using Baby Nurofen which worked within 15 minutes.

I look back over the year and what a year it has been! I’ve never been more happier and yet at the same time never felt more inadequate, anxious and guilty. Yes guilty, almost everything that I do I can easily find a way to make myself feel guilty.

Having someone baby sit Jordan so that we could go to the Movies (only rarely done) – brings on thoughts like “Why did you have a child just to leave him with someone else?” Or going back to work – oh boy the guilt there is unbelievable, it is made especially worse that Jordan is in a Child Care centre 2 days a week and he cries so much when I leave him. It breaks my heart every single time.

I just hope that we all get over this bout of flu/cold whatever before Jordan’s big special day!

11 Months