Doing ok

My last post was short and sharp and I promised an update. Well you are all probably used to me being MIA.

The shock has warn off, but it is still hard to tell people firstly that I'm pregnant and secondly that I'm having twins and I'm still finding it difficult to refer to them as 'them'.

This pregnancy has been easier with the waves of nausea surprisingly as it is meant to be worse with twins. I've only thrown up twice but I think that it was more related to what I ate rather than the babies.

We did have a scare last week as I had started spotting, a brownish colour. But I call my OB and got to see him that night and it was announced to me that there was a 95% chance that I had lost one as we could not see it on the screen during the internal ultrasound.

The next day I was off to have a proper scan, using a proper machine and we walked out relieved and happy that they were both still with us. One of my little babies is much higher in the uterus than the other making it hard to see it.

I've heard on the family grapevine that my SIL will be giving us her cot as she is done with the baby stage, which really helps. I am looking at a twin pram with a possible toddler seat or back board but am waiting a little.

At the moment I'm more anxious about the house. Do we stay, do we sell, do we build, or do we buy? It is all very confusing.

Our house is a reasonable size, with 3 bedrooms and a study and the babies will be in one room to start with anyway. My main concern is that we loose our spare bed and I know that we will need help in the middle of the night. So upgrading might be our best option.

A work collegue said to me, that surely a fold up bed is cheaper than a new house. Which is true except for the fact that we have no where to put the bed. Plus I know that I will not be going back full time to work after the babies. I can't leave all 3 to my Mum's and MIL care and childcare is just too expensive for 5 days perweek.

I think that now is the best time to be making these decisions, I earn a good wage and perhaps selling this house will helps us out of debt a little. As I said it is all very confusing.

To start with we are having a market appraisal today and from there we will be able to make a few decisions.

Personally even though I love this house, there are things that I would like to change, the laundry, the back yard and most importantly we need a toy room. Jordy plays all over the house which is fine with me, it is his house as well. But for over a year now we have been eating dinner off a coffee table as our meals area has been overtaken with toys.

I would like to have a meals area back but a good room for all the kids to play in, it won't stop toys going all over the house. But at least they would be in a central location.

I also have to wonder if I'm putting too much pressure on myself and our family just because twins are coming. Perhaps I'm making drama happen when there is a lull in our life? I just don't know.

I worry about my ability to care for two babies at once, questions like..how do I feed them both at night? Will I always choose one over the other? Will Jordy be ok and not feel left out?