Inspired again

It has been years since I have written about my kids. My last post was WOW December 2010.

Fast forward to today and Jordy is a strapping 8 year old boy and Rylan and Lilly are both 6 years old.

I loved reading back over the previous posts, it is amazing how much you actually forget about the times when your children are so young.

I am inspired once again to blog about my children and our wonderful journey of parenthood.

Watch this space!!!

Lillian

My little Lilly is small in stature but large in personality and sure knows what she wants. She will happily bestow a smile to everyone and anyone, but her kisses are few and far between. If you ask Lillian for a kiss and she is not in the mood she look the other way and pout, which is so very cute.
I see no issue with Lilly’s height and weight, she entered into this world small so I really have no problem that she continues to put on weight but her clothes are still on the baby side. It is nice to have Rylan the solid boy and then Lilly the petit little girl she is.

I always wanted a little girl and never thought that my boys would bring so much joy as they have. It stems from having two nieces when I was a teenager. I knew what it was like to play with a girl, you know playing dress ups, playing with dolls. Lilly whilst she loves to wear things in her hair and one of her first words is “pretty”, she will happily put on her beads, fake pearls and then chase after her brothers in the mud, crawling through everything and anything to be part of the game.

Whilst Lilly has taken a few steps on her own from the coffee table to the couch for example, she is not confident enough to walk on her own. You can see the fear in her eyes when she lets go of the stable things she is holding onto. The best thing I could’ve bought Lilly was the walker, Jordan borrowed his off his cousin but was quickly given back because he really didn’t play with it.

I bought one for the twins Birthday one for Rylan and the other for Lilly, which is her lifeline to getting about. She happily stands up and walks every around the house pushing the walker. She has grabbed an empty toy box, cardboard box to push around, which is so cute. At my Mums house there is a wooden little trolley that used to house wooden block, this is Lilly’s personal walker there and if anyone touches it all hell breaks loose and you will here “MINE, MINE, MINE, NO, NO, NO”. Lilly will place her favourite toy of the moment in the trolley and happily walks around the house all day.

So whilst she is not officially walking on her own, she is more than mobile to keep me on my toes. This past weekend saw Lilly walking around the house holding on to doors and walls and taking about 5-8 steps towards me with out holding on to anything when prompted.

On the flip side Lilly is talking so much, she is saying so many different words, but finds difficulty in saying Mummy (which breaks my heart, kid off). She will happily say “Thank you”, “Bye bye daddy” and other small sentence and lots of different words.

I can see that Lilly will be a girly girly as she will sit with me letting me comb her hair and we play the game of putting a clip in looking in the mirror and saying “Pretty” then taking it out, giving it back to Mum to do it all again.

I’m think that for Christmas or before her second Birthday I might just get her ears pierced, I was very young when I had the done and if I were living in Hungary Lilly’s would be done by now.

Rylan

This little boy is my special little friend and I secretly love love love it that he is attached to me. I can’t walk into the room without him yelling for me to pick him up. But between you and me I love it!

Rylan looks so much like Jordan (with out the blue eyes and light brown hair), he acts like Jordan too. But at this age 16 months Rylan is much more solid. He is the precisely the correct weight he should be for his age. Whereas Jorday was always in 25th percentile for his weight and was considered underweight.

Rylan is very demanding, knows what he wants and he wants it NOW kind of boy. The trick to a happy Rylie (his nick name at home) is to pre-empt his hunger or simply give him a ball / balloon.

Rylie started walking on my Birthday (May 16th at 15 months old) and is now learning to run, in a skipping kind of way. He is very proud of himself and proudly walks into Child Care holding Jordy’s hand. I’ve recently had many special moments with him walking around the park across the street. We LOVE it that he is walking, life is a little easier that he is on the move, so that now I can carry Lilly whilst holding his hand.Rylan doesn’t really like to read books and is always on the move, he really won’t sit still other than to eat, but even then he likes to walk around the house eating and talking in his baby babble.

I can see that Rylan will be the one to test us with patience, he already does it now! But I think that it stems from the fact that he is getting frustrated that I don’t instinctively know what he is trying to communicate to us.

Due to his demanding nature, I feel that sometimes Tim is a little too harsh on him, and so I’m possibly a little too soft on him. I’m striving to ‘treat’ all the kids exactly the same, but it is difficult as not all the kids are exactly the same. But rules about behaviour and what is acceptable and unacceptable (you can tell I’ve watched Super Nanny) remain the same.

Jordan

Our little man is approaching his 4th Birthday and is very excited about the prospect of having a “Puffing Billy” (old steam train that is close to use) Birthday. I’ve had to do some fast talking about the fact that it was too cold to go to Puffing Billy. We will be buying him a proper bicycle for his Birthday.

He is a beautiful big brother and plays so nicely with his brother and sister. Jordan prefers the company of Lillian (I have a sneaking suspicion it is because Lilly has the same colour eyes as he does) more but I think that is mainly due to the hero worship that he gets from Rylan (who can be a bit full on). Jordan is still a sensitive little boy and still cries for all sorts of reasons, but I think that it jus who he is.

I worry about him and the lack of attention he gets from us, but Tim and I both try to spend as much one on one time with his as possible, but it is not always easy.

It is a blessing indeed that Jordan was born first, during those first 4 months of Rylan and Lillians life Jordan was our rock. He was the one that brought all the perspective into focus, especially during the really tough non-stop crying days and those days when Lilly’s neck was stiff. He would come over and give me a small hug, a simple “I love you Mummy”, or he would just start dancing if the radio was on.

Unfortunately during those really tough time TV became Jordans escape and mine. I know that I could just put on a DVD and he would be occupied for a few hours and give me the peace I needed to, feed, change, settle the twins. We are now trying to break the TV dependency and it is a little struggle.

We never really got the “terrible two, troublesome threes” from Jordan. There have been tantrums and bad days of behaviour but not on a daily basis. This doesn’t say that I have not taken away his toys, nor put him in his room or smacked his bottom when he is naughty. It is just that those days of bad behaviour are a stand out because they are so rare. We are lucky indeed to have him as our first child.

A quick update

It is hard to find the time to write blog posts anymore, as I’m enjoying being a Mum to my kids. There are days when it feels like I’m just treading water but then there are other days when it is like a nice walk in the park.

Rylan and Lillian are on the move now, rolling around everywhere. The really only started to move last week and there have been many bumped heads, arms stuck and screaming when they can’t roll back.

They are so cute to watch and it is amazing how quickly they can move off the rug / blanket that I’ve put down.

What I really want to remember are the times when I could be in the kitchen and I hear Rylan screaming shouting and I rush over to see Lilly with a huge grin on her face has she is happily pulling Rylies ears or hair!

Then when it is Lilly’s turn to scream Rylan has rolled on over and is kicking her head or body. People have asked me why I don’t separate them. The funny thing is that they start of at separate ends of the rug and eventually they rollover to each other.

Also love seeing the tug-of-war on toys and sees who wins. There are no tears….yet, but it is still so cute on how they interact with each other.

I know that I’m lucky with how well these two sleep and they really sleep anywhere (even on the beach in a pram whilst on holidays). They are down to two sleeps during the day (sometimes three if they haven’t slept much) and are now both eating very well on solids.

Rylan was a late starter the solids, refused to have anything until just after 6 months old. I started Lilly on solids at 4 months as she started waking through the night for a feed.

My little girl is still small but I like have a petite little one. Some of her clothes are still 000 but she now wears more 00. Last weighing (at six months) she was 6kg and 62cm.

We love love love having a chubby little Buddha (as we call him), you can love him hard, squish him and play a little rough. At 6 months he weighed in at 7.6kg and 68cm, he is now wearing size 0 clothes.

After a little jealousy Jordan really enjoys them, especially Rylie and especially in the car. Most times Lilly is fast asleep and I have two both giggling and laughing at each other. At least it is laughter and not fighting….yet!

We have also finally been able to move Jordy out of nappies and into underwear, except during the sleep time. But nap time and most mornings the nappy is dry. There have been many accidents but mostly it has been a very quick transition.

To be honest though it took a little bit of what I like to call ‘tough love’. Jordan and I had been discussing (read arguing) him wearing undies but he refused to even think about it. I even let him pick out the potty, underwear, read books on potty training…everything that I was told to do. Catch him when he is doing a poo…all that with no success.

Just before bath time every night we would ask if he needed to go to the potty and he happily went with no fuss, so we knew that he could do it. I think that he just had the power and said no…and we gave in…who knows?

There was one morning when I had convinced him to wear his Spiderman underwear and he wore it for half the day, we had 4 accidents. I made no fuss at all, quickly cleaned him up and put on another pair. But after nap time we went out and he refused to change out of the nappy.

I left it for a week, the next Monday I calmly put the nappies away and told him that they were for sleep time and that he was now a big boy and to wear undies…oh the screaming, crying and tantrum, he was crying for the nappy. I stood my ground and gave him two options (this is the tough love part) either undies or naked, I was firm about it as I felt that I needed to be. He didn’t like either, but eventually put on a pair of undies and was distracted by the twins. This who episode of crying took about 30 minutes until he forgot about it all and was laughing at Lilly.

We had more success than accidents and by Thursday that week there were no more accidents. I’m not used to having a toddler in underwear and forget that I need to ask him often if he needs to go to the toilet. Most of the accidents are simply because I forget that he still needs to be reminded.

Most of the time now he simply runs to the potty does his business, empties into the toilet, washes his hands and tells me that he is good boy as he did “Pisi (wee’s) in the potty”.

I had honestly tried every technique that was suggested in the books, magazines and on line. I even went to a potty training seminar run by my local council and was told to be calm and encouraging. It didn’t work for us, I needed to be a little tough and firm with him, perhaps I could be classed as a bad mother or a tough bitch, I don’t know.

Worth it all

If there is anyone that still reads this blog and is going through any type of fertility treatment, either for their first child or additional children. It is worth all the pain, waiting, treatments, Dr appointments, ultrasounds, disappointments, joy and hope.

To see my Jordy playing with Rylan and making him laugh makes my heart almost burst out of my chest with love and fulfillment.

IT is worth it all.

Timeline

In this photo I’m 11 years old (1987) and I’ve ventured to Europe by myself for a holiday with my family in Hungary. If I were to pin point where the perception of myself started to change it was after this trip. You see up until this time my nickname from my sister was “Skinny”…and after this trip my mother weighed me and I had put on 6kg…which I think is natural when you are travelling to another country.

I was no longer “skinny”…as I had put on soooo much weight. I distinctly remember being approached in the school yard by some younger kids and directly being asked if it was true that I had put on “that” much weight.

This next photo is taken shortly after this trip and it is a photo of my confirmation.

What do you see?

I see a little girl just starting to grow up, who looks healthy.

In the photo above I’m the one on the far right. I’m between 11 & 13 years old and it is taken at a Hungarian Scout camp. Throughout this time in my life I was constantly being compared to the two girls on my left, who were (as I was told) much skinnier than me.

Looking at this photo now I can’t see anything wrong with my size, but even at this age I was being told that I needed to loose weight and my personal truth was being rewritten.

I’ve cut out all the other girls from this next photo, but at this stage I’m about 14-15 years old and about a size 10 or 12 and in my mind I see myself as being fat.

I’m about 15-16 years old and performing Hungarian Folk dancing, by this age I had learnt how to put on a front and “perform”. I was happy for the camera’s and on the stage, but what my parents really don’t know is that I hated being on the stage. I felt so exposed, especially as I wasn't as thin as some of the other girls on our group.

This next photo is of my Debutant and I’m 16 years old, to prepare for this event my mother made me attend a gym everyday after school and would only feed me salada biscuits as I needed to loose weight. In this photo I think that I’m fat.

Fast forward to my Engagement party I’m 19 years old. Now if I didn’t cope being told that I needed to loose weight from my parents I was now getting it from my soon to be in-laws. I remember showing my mother in-law what I was planning on wearing to the party and she told me that I should not wear the vest or skirt as it made me look fat.

Can you see what she was saying? I sure can’t…

My wedding day (1996)…oh how I hated having photo’s taken off me. Can you believe that my wedding dress is a size 12? Yes that’s right as size 12…I see a young girl who has a little extra weight on her.

Fast froward 7 years to 2003 and I’m 26 years old and Tim and I are in Hungary on a 3 month vacation. After my wedding I really don’t have a lot of photo’s of myself as I think subconsciously I had made other peoples perception of my a reality and I had become the “fat” person.

This is another 2 years later and I think that this is where I’m the heaviest that I’ve ever been.

The last two photo’s are of me in 2006 and just April this year.

I recently had a candid discussion with a dear friend about my weight, you know the saying “Truth hurts”…well some truth was being said to me at the time that I didn’t want to hear. After I got married I piled on the weight and it was no one else fault but my own.

Sure I can easily blame my PCOS condition and the fact that my mother, father, sister and family all through out my childhood told me I was fat, of that I needed to loose some weight. Sure I can easily direct the blame elsewhere and keep my head in the sand, but I don’t want to do that anymore.

My brother and I saw Dr Phil live on Wednesday and there were some messages that really got to me. He spoke about a lot of things and I haven’t even begun to digest all the topics. The one thing though that really made me want to right this post was about Personal Truth.

If from a young age I was being told that I was fat and I was constantly put onto diets to loose weight, then I think that I became the person that I was told I was. I became that fat person, it didn’t matter if I was nice, kind, care, giving, honest and loving. I was TOLD from 11 years old that I was fat, which I didn’t believe.

So as I say I can blame others for that way I look now, but I won’t, sure my personal truth was rewritten by many different people. But I need to take responsibility for the way I look now (and dear friend you were right). I don’t know what this means for me now because I’ve been labelled as the fat girl for so much of my life.

What I want is to be known for the real person I am and not what I look like.

Lilly 2 Months

Where did March go? And it is nearly the end of April!!!. Here is Lilly’s 2 month check:

Growth check:

At birth Lilly’s statistics were:

Weight = 2.1kg

Length = 45cm

At her 8 week check, the statistics were:

Weight = 3.5kg

Length = 50cm

Tummy-time: We have tried Tummy time with Lilly and does not like it one bit, plus our Osteopath recommended that we not place her on her tummy until her neck is stronger. She still favours one side but is not in any more pain, she will move her head easily so I’m not that concerned. My Mum constantly stresses about her neck but there is nothing more that we can do.

Eyes: Lilly is looking to have the same eye colour as Jordy, at the moment that are still a dark blue and at times almost looks purple in colour.

Focus: Lilly has really great focus on us and will constantly stare at us when feeding, plus I’ve noticed that she will look at me when I’m dealing with Rylie in the other cot (yes we have separated them now as Rylie was waking Lilly up as he was moving around the cot). I was told that she probably heard my voice but my gut feeling is that she can see better than it is expected.

Hearing: Similar to Rylie, Lilly will turn her head to peoples voices.

Smiles: It is hard to get a smile out of Lilly as she prefers to talk, but she has this cute little special smile that she does whilst talking and it involves her scrunching up her nose and squinting her eyes, very cute. It takes tickling her cheek or chin for her to smile.

Speech: When I get the chance after a feed and Lilly is not sleepy then I will often put her on our bed and lie down next to her and she will babble away. I truly love this time with her, she likes to be with people and not left on her own to play on the floor.

Feeding: Lilly still continues to go long stretches at night and the other night she went 12 hours between feeds, but will go anywhere from 8-10 hours. During the day Lilly will go 2-4 hours between feeds and she is such a dream to feed, she sucks the bottle down and will push it away for a burp and is very easy to burp up don’t even need to pat her back, by simply sitting her up gives you the desired result. She is drinking on average 130ml's per feed.

Sleeping: Whilst Lilly is easy to feed she is very hard to settle and needs to be swaddled and put on her side and loud bassy music needs to be playing. A Hungarian band Bon Bon seems to be doing the trick, once she is asleep we turn the music down. Loud bassy music worked for Jordy and for him it was Justin Timberlake that worked.

Crying: Lilly has different cries and you can easily work out what she is wanting.